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February 10th, 2008
12:08 am - an open note to SciFi Original Production Company
Dear Messrs,
In regard to your movie 'Bone Eater,' not to be confused with 'The Bone Snatcher,' which also played last night: never do a monster reveal before the opening credits. While I understand that your opus suffers from many flaws, I believe that correcting this matter would make it bearable for at least the first five minutes.
Most sincerely yrs,
Ursula
P.S. Stop casting Casper Van Dien in all your movies; you're only protecting him from the social Darwinism of the acting world. His failed acting genes must die out in order to allow mankind to evolve.
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Comments:
Casper van Dien? Was Dean Cain deemed (or is it deaned/diened?) too old for that particular role?
"Hai guyz, remember Starship Troopers? That movie was pretty cool, amirite? FUCK YOU I AM A AWESOME ACTOR!" *blubber blubber*
Or at least that's how I imagine his part negotiations go, based on my extensive experience in the movie biz.
![[User Picture]](http://p-userpic.livejournal.com/8817761/1024475) | | From: | ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) ursako |
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| Date: | February 10th, 2008 10:31 pm (UTC) |
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Dude, that was a perfect storm of bitchery right there. Are you trying to steal my job? What, you think this is your ElJay?
(I KNOW. HE'S SO SAD. AND IT WAS A MOVIE ABOUT BIBLICAL GIANTS.) |
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