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the front row - an open note to SciFi Original Production Company

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February 10th, 2008


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12:08 am - an open note to SciFi Original Production Company
Dear Messrs,

In regard to your movie 'Bone Eater,' not to be confused with 'The Bone Snatcher,' which also played last night: never do a monster reveal before the opening credits. While I understand that your opus suffers from many flaws, I believe that correcting this matter would make it bearable for at least the first five minutes.

Most sincerely yrs,

Ursula

P.S. Stop casting Casper Van Dien in all your movies; you're only protecting him from the social Darwinism of the acting world. His failed acting genes must die out in order to allow mankind to evolve.

(share your thoughts with the class)

Comments:


[User Picture]
From:[info]lobsterbox
Date:February 10th, 2008 09:03 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Casper van Dien? Was Dean Cain deemed (or is it deaned/diened?) too old for that particular role?

"Hai guyz, remember Starship Troopers? That movie was pretty cool, amirite? FUCK YOU I AM A AWESOME ACTOR!" *blubber blubber*

Or at least that's how I imagine his part negotiations go, based on my extensive experience in the movie biz.
[User Picture]
From:[info]ursako
Date:February 10th, 2008 10:31 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Dude, that was a perfect storm of bitchery right there. Are you trying to steal my job? What, you think this is your ElJay?

(I KNOW. HE'S SO SAD. AND IT WAS A MOVIE ABOUT BIBLICAL GIANTS.)

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